Mini Melt Down

Last weekend I had a mini meltdown. It wasn’t pretty.

My husband was gone for the weekend on an ice fishing trip with his buddies and I was home with my boys. Three days home with the little ones, and no adult interaction, can be a bit much for me, so I scheduled a babysitter so that I could meet up with the girls for a long run on Sunday morning. I couldn’t wait. With the exceptionally cold weather and my family’s schedule, I hadn’t run outside in over a month. A MONTH!! I was missing the fresh air and sunshine on my face.

Well, things started to go wrong with my running plans on Saturday night. I got out of church and checked my phone to find a text from the babysitter stating that she was terribly ill and heading to the ER. Needless to say, she wasn’t going to be able to watch the boys Sunday morning. UGH!! Disappointing, but not the end of the world. So, I sent the girls a text letting them know that I wouldn’t be able to make it and to have fun without me. (Sigh.)

To my surprise, they offered up six ridiculous solutions for my dilemma, ranging from the boys riding their bikes along side us (it was supposed to be 20 degrees!) to pushing them in a stroller, to having people from our triathlon club “babysit” while we ran the 6 mile loop. Their unwillingness to let the situation go without a fight made me laugh and also realize just how badly I needed to go on that run. I decided to drop to an all time low and practically beg for a back-up babysitter. It worked, and I had successfully secured Plan B. The run was back on. Ahhh…that felt better.

Until…I woke up Sunday morning to a crying 8 year old boy who felt achy and had a fever and sore throat. That run just wasn’t meant to be. I sent another text letting the girls know that I was most definitely NOT going to be joining them, and made peace with the fact that being Mom is my number one job.

But, when the boys took a nap that afternoon, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of self-pity. It just wasn’t fair. Sitting on the couch, I started to cry. Yup. I was sitting alone, crying because the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day, and I was stuck in the house with a world full of responsibilities that I couldn’t escape. Not even for a couple of hours. (Tear…tear…) Being a Mom is hard. Period.

However, feeling that way is NOT something I enjoy. I am not generally a “crier”, and I typically find the good in things. So this situation left me kind of annoyed with myself. The only solution I could think of was to go for a run. I still had a little bit of time left while the boys slept, so I hopped on the treadmill and ran the fastest 3 miles that I’ve run in a long time. It felt amazing. And it was just the butt-kicking that I needed to shake me out of my little pity party.

In the end, the reality is that some days are like that (even in Australia). There will be times when things don’t go your way, but you just need to pick yourself up and move along. Have yourself a good cry, then let those tears bring out your best sparkle.

Sparkle. Pounce.

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