I Really Don’t Have Things Under Control

Today at work, a colleague said to me, “I feel like Kendra today!” My response was, “What does that mean?” He said, “Ya know, like I’ve got everything under control.”

I laughed and told him that in the last few weeks, the thought that has crossed my mind most often is this: “Kendra, you really need to get your ______ together.”

I’m not kidding. Every year at this time, I start to feel pretty overwhelmed with everything that’s going on. And every year, my list of responsibilities seems to grow longer and longer. And I’m not good at juggling all of it. I’m really not.

But, apparently, what I am good at is making it look like I’ve got everything under control. I think mostly what I’m good at is putting on a smile, regardless of how I’m feeling. However, what I’m really feeling is this….

  • How am I going to plan and organize all of the fundraisers I need to in order to raise $14,000 for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society before the Boston Marathon?! When am I going to find the time to ask for silent auction donations? Who will donate? How does all of this even work?! I really need to get on this….
  • I really need to write all of the thank you notes to all of my awesome friends and family that have already donated! How do I even get all of their addresses? 
  • We really need to finish moving everything into our house and getting situated…
  • I really need to get my Christmas cards…and then address them and send them out…
  • Who do I need to get Christmas gifts for? I should make a list. And then I should probably start shopping.
  • Why yes, I would LOVE to plan and organize my son’s school Christmas party. Yes, I definitely have time for that. No problem.
  • And I would LOVE to coach basketball. Yup. Plenty of time for that, right?
  • I really need to remember to move the Elf every day this year. No more slacking. I can do this.
  • And I would really like to find an opportunity for the boys and I to volunteer at a soup kitchen or something similar before Christmas….
  • Oh, didn’t I already pay that bill? No? It’s late? Sigh….
  • We’re out of sandwich bags? And Klennex? Good thing we have aluminum foil and toilet paper!
  • When am I going to get that data analysis done? I really need to start working on that each night when the boys go to bed. But I really don’t want to…
  • I have to find time to write another blog. It’s been way too long…
  • I need to get back into running. Yes. That will help my stress level!!
Those are the thoughts that are going through my mind at any given moment of every day. It’s a lot to handle. But…
 
That is it. 
 
My heart is full. And that means my responsibilities will always be many. Because I have people to take care of and work to do to make this world a better place for them. And…I won’t always get it  right. But I will never stop trying.
 
Sparkle.Pounce.Let Your Heart Lead You.
 
-Kendra