The Guilt of a Mom – Always Wear Your Invisible Cape

I’ve been a mom for almost nine and a half years. Over those years I have changed SO MUCH. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I wasn’t very good at balancing life when my boys were little. I pretty much let being their mom consume me. Part of that was because I loved them more than words could even express, and I truly wanted to spend every second with them that I could. I wanted to be there to see them smile, and to watch them sleep, and to make sure they were eating what they should, and to make sure they were safe and happy. And part of that was because I felt guilty when I wasn’t with them.

Here I am, nine years later, and I still feel guilt when I choose myself over my boys. But, I have come to learn that taking the time to be who I am, makes me a better mom when I’m with them.

This is a snapshot from the book “Mile Markers” by Kristin Armstrong. I love it. It is so true and so important! We need to put the guilt aside and realize that what we love to do is important to who we are. And our kids need to see that person! They need to know that we are more than just “their mom”.

On Sunday, I had some of those feelings of guilt. My husband had planned to take the boys walleye fishing after church, and I had to decide if I should go with them or have an afternoon to myself. I NEVER have an afternoon to myself, and I really wanted to go for a mountain bike ride, so I opted to stay behind. But I felt super guilty about it, especially when both boys told me it would be more fun if I went along. I weighed this heavily, then remembered how short my patience had been with them over the last week while my husband was out of town, and knew that the best thing for all of us was for me to take the mountain bike ride.

After my ride, Liam was texting me (from Dad’s phone) and telling me about the fish they had caught.

And I text him back with pictures from my ride.

I felt like a pretty cool mom, showing my boys that while they were out doing what they love, I was also out doing what I love.

And even though I still felt a little guilty, I knew that I had definitely made the right choice.

To all of you moms out there, don’t forget to take time to be your wonderfully, awesome self.

Sparkle.Pounce.Be You.

-Kendra

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