I was that girl that knew just what she wanted from the time I was about 10 years old. I wanted to go to college, get married, become a teacher, have four kids, and be the perfect mom. And besides the four kids thing,
because I am not cut out for that kind of torture everything has unfolded almost exactly as I imagined it.
I managed to earn my teaching degree in four and a half years (from Western Michigan University…Go Broncos!!!), get married at the ripe age of 22
holy cow that sounds way too young, and have two kids before my 29th birthday. Everything went perfectly according to my plans, as far as the timing went. I wanted to be a young, fun mom, and not follow the new trend of waiting until my thirties to have children.
For me, becoming a mom was not what I thought it would be. My first born was colicky, and my world fell apart. Sleep was something I no longer knew anything about, and I basically withdrew from friends and social events. That first year was SO HARD. It took a while before I was ready to have another child, and my dreams of having four children quickly went away.
Luckily, my second son was much easier than my first. But honestly, newborns are still not my favorite aged person 🙂 I just wasn’t very good at being “me” when I also had to be the “perfect” mom to an infant. My whole identity was somewhat lost in the new mix of being a wife, a mom, and a full time teacher.
But, after a few years of getting into the swing of things, and my boys getting a little older and less “infant”, I finally got the hang of it. I was able to manage being a good mom, good wife (because that definitely took a hit in year one), good teacher, AND good friend, sister, daughter…ME. I was back to running, started triathlon, and just spent more time trying to figure out who I really was.
Unfortunately for me, none of my friends were on the same “I want to have babies while I’m young” plan. Instead, they have nearly all decided in the last 1-2 years that now is a great time to have kids. Currently, three of my close friends are pregnant and three more had their first baby less than a year ago.
What this means for me is that I’m kind of the odd guy out right now. I’m not pregnant, I don’t have a newborn, I’m getting enough sleep, I don’t feel guilty about leaving the house overnight, I can drink a glass of wine whenever I want, and when my kid is crying, they can simply tell me what is wrong. And that, my friends, is amazing.
So, although I kind of miss my “old” friends right now, I completely understand what it’s like to be a new mom. And it’s not as much fun as all of your Facebook posts make it look!
I’m taking advantage of this change in my friends’ lives by focusing more on my personal goals. My dream of qualifying for Boston has taken a front row seat in my daily thoughts and planning. I haven’t had this level of dedication to a training plan since I trained for my first Ironman.
There’s a chance I’m a little addicted to it right now…
I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a long time before the Sparkle.Pounce. girls all run another 50K together. So in the meantime, I will be working on improving myself. And knowing, that the years of being a mom to an infant don’t last forever.
Sparkle.Pounce.Be the best you.